Go your own way
So here we are. We’ve officially hit the halfway point of the semester. Welcome to midterms, people.
The fact that I’m a senior this year took a while to sink in. At the beginning of the semester, I was pretty much ready to jump into the real world. Four years ago, I was choosing the college that I wanted to spend the next chapter of my life at, but I was so reluctant to do so. I was terrified of all the “new” that comes with moving on in life. Plus I wasn’t in the best place mentally at that time. My college decision process can be summed up in my parents suggesting different schools and taking me on campus tours while I dragged my feet and held back tears the entire time. I was just numb to the entire process.
That being said, I wouldn’t trade my decision to come to Assumption for anything in the world. I have found so many wonderful people here who accept me for who I am. I’ve had opportunities here that some people could only dream of having. Don’t get me wrong; not everything in the last four years has been great. I’ve discovered who am I, both the light side of myself and the dark side. But these experiences are a culmination of growing up.
However, I feel as if the last four years have been a rush to the finish, only towards getting a degree, getting out of here, finding a job and just being a free adult. It hasn’t even sunk in until now how much I have accomplished here in such a short period of time. I’m a triple major. I’m Assistant Editor-in Chief of Le Provocateur. I’m Manager of Music Ministry. That is so much to be proud of once graduation hits, yet I feel as though I’m losing my place as a college student in the race to be an adult.
Most of my semester so far has been a whirlwind. I’ve been running to finish my reading for class, to the library to print four-page essays, back and forth to spend time with different friends at different times, from rehearsal to rehearsal, writing and writing and writing. I’ve forgotten that I’ve been running. A person has to stop running at some point, or else they’ll collapse from exhaustion. I can see that point coming, and I need to dig my heels in before I crash too hard.
In times when my mind is going in ten directions at once and thoughts creep in and out and walls close in on me, I turn to what I could probably deem my biggest savior, music. Jason Mraz’s song “Details in the Fabric” has been a welcome addition to my playlists for years. The song is about helping a friend through difficult times, telling them to remain calm and fight the voices in their head. The first stanza reads, “Calm down,/ Deep breaths,/ And get yourself dressed instead/ Of running around/ And pulling on your threads/ And breaking yourself up./ If it’s a broken part, replace it,/ If it’s a broken arm, then brace it,/ If it’s a broken heart, then face it.”
This stanza is a small reminder to take life slow, clear my head and don’t let the voices get to me, something I often forget I have the power to do. The song is framed with calming chords centered around the lyrical melody and sweet overtones of Jason Mraz’s voice. I highly recommend giving this song a listen if you’re ever feeling like life is too much. And if your life is great right now, listen to the song anyway because it’s a gorgeous piece of music.
Looking back on my time here, I’ll miss being a student here. I mean I won’t miss the homework, the late nights cramming for a test or procrastinating my papers until the last minute, of course. But I’ll look back on the friends I’ve made and the goals I’ve accomplished, and be happy with it all. Until then, I’ll attempt to savor the remainder of my final year at Assumption College, and stop and remind myself to breathe.
Rebecca Galib, a senior, studies English and music. She is the Assistant Editor-in-Chief of Le Provocateur.