Sydney Tappan, Assistant Editor-in-Chief / Campus Life Editor
First-day-of-school jitters are nothing in comparison to first-day-of-college jitters. Never mind that, it’s the entire month before the first day that is full of not only jitters but never ending worrying with some tears mixed in. To this day, three years later, the scariest moment of my life was unloading my mom’s car in front of Desautels Hall to a group of upperclassmen football players. The second scariest moment was watching my parents pull away and leave me in a place that I had ever only toured, with people I had never met.
The first night living away from home is a feeling I will never forget. But more importantly the first night that Assumption started to feel like a home in itself overshadows the emptiness of that first night. Having been, not forced, but urged, to live away from home and at school is the change that pushed me to become the independent and self-sufficient person that I am today. As I progress through the rest of my senior year I become more aware that the day I permanently move away from home is growing closer. I no longer feel scared or unsure, but excited and eager.
Everything was a change. From growing up in a small town in Connecticut to moving to a city in Massachusetts, everything was different in the matter of 107 miles. Always having been shy and quiet throughout school, I had quickly learned that being shy and quiet was not an option that first weekend with the, at least, 25 different ice breakers. Envying how other students were able to confidently speak out their name and fun-fact, it became a long and still challenging journey of becoming the student with a voice that I wanted to be after arriving at school.
Freshman year signified the first step in becoming the person that I am still becoming today.
Seeing the way my friends had interacted with different clubs and groups on campus and the connections they had been making, I wanted the same thing for myself. Though the thought of putting myself out of my comfort zone terrified me, I knew future me would be grateful, and she is. Starting small and involving myself in groups that my friends were solely apart of for familiarity helped to break the walls of becoming independent and eventually joining clubs and groups of my own.
Even raising my hand to answer a question as a first-year in a classroom mixed with sophomores, juniors, and seniors, I saw as a step in the right direction. Though my heart always felt as though it was going to beat out of my chest every time, every time became the tiniest bit easier. Sharing my thoughts became something that I wanted to do and not something that I was afraid to do. Although it is easier said than done, the smallest steps are still steps nonetheless.
Though it was a strenuous process of breaking down the walls of my comfort zone, half-way through my first year of college I started to see the potential of the person I could become and the name I could form for myself on this campus. Though uncomfortable and anxious as a first-year surrounded by upperclassmen and students who had already established themselves, I slowly began speaking up more; allowing myself to be heard. Though this is still something I am working on, it was the quick change to the college environment that has me writing as the Campus Life Editor for Le Provocateur today.
Never did I think writing from my childhood bedroom at home and not an Assumption University dorm would be something that upset me. Unable to see the future and how this series of events and not being on campus will affect me, I have to believe it will have a positive impact as I can grow and change as the rest of the world does.
Although I started this college experience probably looking like a terrified first-year student who kept her head down and lanyard around her neck, I transitioned into someone that I am proud to introduce to others. Change is inevitable, it is the way that you accept and embrace change that will affect you.