Faculty Corner: Wisdom or Love? Celebrating two cultures

During the winter break, a 20-year-old friend of mine had oral surgery, taking three of her "wisdom" teeth out. Wisdom at the age of 20 is very unlikely. I, therefore, want to introduce the Korean term for wisdom teeth: Love Teeth. Isn't it more likely that a 20-year-old person discovers love than wisdom about the time he or she has "love" teeth?I left home (Korea) over two decades ago, as I did not want to stay as "a frog in a well," which describes a person with limited experience and vision. The only thing a frog in a well knows is its own well and a piece of small sky it sees through the top of the well. I still appreciate the wise Korean phrases that make sense in my life. For example, a Korean phrase, "When outgoing words are gentle, the returning words are gentle as well" reminds me of Proverbs 16:24. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

When two cultures (American and Korean) meet at my dinner table, there is a celebration of cultural differences as well as similarities. There may be conversations or singing in two languages, one for my left ear and the other for my right ear. There may be comparisons of animal sounds, idioms, literature, folktales, Biblical translations, food and table manners. For instance, the expression "piece of cake" is equivalent in Korean to "laying down and eating a rice cake." I always have wondered how easy it is for someone to digest food after eating in a laying down position. "Piece of cake" seems to be a lot easier than what the Korean expression is saying. On the other hand, there are some phrases that make more sense in Korean than in English, literally speaking. Does one actually "eat like a horse" (typical English phrase) or "eat like a pig" (typical Korean phrase)? The pigs do not know how much or what they should or should not be eating, since they are scavenger eaters. Here is another: when I am so hungry I would rather "eat a cow" (typical Korean phrase) than "eat a horse" (typical English phrase). Think about all of the varieties (from filet mignon to hamburger) that one can create with a cow, compared to a horse. I do not believe that I have ever tried horse meat. Have you?

One American custom that I have had the most difficult time learning is how people interact with the elderly. I am used to the Korean way, which is reflected in a Korean phrase, "There should be an order between the elderly and the young." It means that the young should respect the elderly in all circumstances while the elderly should guide the young with wisdom. In a sense, it is like the verse in Leviticus, "Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly." In Korea, respecting the elders is embedded in manners, language, and other customs. Koreans serve the oldest first, even if it is giving a glass of cold water, while it is not uncommon for Americans to serve young children first in the presence of the elderly. In addition, Koreans use words and phrases with respect when speaking to the elderly. You never call someone who is older than you by his or her first name. There are different titles for every relationship, which are always used rather than first names. For instance, an aunt from your mother's side is "e-mo" while an aunt from your father's side is "ko-mo." Furthermore, if someone asks my sons what my name is, they should respond "My mother uses character 'Nan' and character 'Ho.'" They should not dare say "Her name is Nanho." My parents almost fainted when they learned that an American son-in-law or daughter-in-law may call his or her parents-in-law by their first name. Even after a long explanation of cultural differences, my parents were not quite sure if they understood the rationale for calling the elderly by their first names. One exciting side of this difference, however, is that in American culture, you can build beautiful friendships with those who are much older or much younger than you. This is not likely to happen in Korea.

On New Year's Day, my two sons greeted their grandparents with Korean bows, and learned that everyone became one year older that day. In the Korean way, the year when a baby is born she or he is one year old, meaning that it is the first year of the baby's life. On the first of January my thirteen-year-old son suddenly became fifteen Korean years old while my ten-year-old became twelve. My "fifteen"-year-old son wonders if he could obtain a driver's license much sooner than expected. On the other hand, my sister who was visiting from Korea learned that she was two years younger in the American way of counting age, which made her truly appreciate American culture more than ever.

It is very intriguing to me how, in spite of our differences in expressions and customs, we are all very much alike. As we celebrate the Korean New Year (Lunar New Year) on February 14, I would like you to consider this Korean phrase for your resolution: "The blessings come to the household of laughter," which encourages people to stay positive, smile, and share laughs with others. Don't we all enjoy the companionship of those with positive attitudes?