Living with Multiple Sclerosis

Sitting in front of the class, Jeannie Felton laughs and says "My motorized wheelchair makes me stand out in a crowd!" But what really makes Jeannie stand out is her determination to live life to the fullest and use her experience with Multiple Sclerosis to help others. During the month of March, Jeannie Felton, Elaine Kneeland, and representatives of the Multiple Sclerosis Society visited the composition classes of Professor Lucia Knoles to help students understand the experience of living with M.S. and the importance of raising awareness and money to support those with the disease.

Since being diagnosed with MS in 2001, Felton has had to deal with constant fatigue and pain. She said, "I wake up in the morning tired. I'm never not tired" Sometimes the problem is so bad that she has difficulty even holding up her head or breathing. It frustrates her that by the end of a day, "I can't think well. I can't talk well. I can't even stand hearing someone else talk. I love my dog but sometimes I want to hang him when he barks because I just can't stop it." Felton acknowledges that MS can sometimes lead people into depression, when she said "The dark side is always there beckoning me into the pit."

However, Felton fights to live as full a life as possible. She walks, stretches, and does yoga to maintain her strength. Even though she doesn't always need a wheelchair, she uses one to expand the number of things she can do. Prioritizing is also important, as she explains, "What I want to do and what I'm able to do are not the same. So I have to choose wisely because . . . I don't want a wasted day, a wasted moment."

Humor is an important tool Felton and her family use. When she starts having trouble with her coordination and drops things in the kitchen, her children say to the dog: "Look out, Patches, mama's throwing knives again."

When she feels the need for support, Felton turns to her family, the MS Society, and God. She said, "My daughter was 12 when I was diagnosed, and her response was to learn and understand all about it, and she's been incredibly supportive." Members of the MS society have become a kind of extended family for Felton, who explains, "Some of the most gracious and loving people I know are people who have MS and are in the MS Society."

What helps Felton the most is her perspective on life. When she has problems, she reminds herself, "It's not my fault," and "Tomorrow is always a new day." Her relationship with God lets her see MS in a positive light. She said, "I thought I had [God's] will for me figured out, but he changed the plan on me. I don't pray for him to make me well or to make me walk." Instead, Felton believes that "God can take anything or everything and use it for some good." So now she uses each day to make a difference. She said, "My goal today is the one that was written under my picture in my high school yearbook: to help people. One thing about M.S. is that it's made me better prepared to help others."





Eileen Kneeland is a 45-year-old mother of two college age boys. One day in 1999 she felt ill, and two days later, she couldn't walk. She had been a swimmer and played field hockey at Holy Cross and worked at a hospital after graduation. Now she is living with Multiple Sclerosis.

Since her diagnosis, Kneeland has kept a positive attitude. She said, "When I first got sick I was in Fairlawn Rehabilitation [Hospital] for six weeks learning to walk again. And when I got my first weekend pass, my husband took me out to Tatnuck Bookstore, rolled me in my wheelchair to the doorway and went back to park the car. And I remember saying: 'You're going to park me here? At least you could park me next to the self-help section where I could read something interesting while I wait.' And I remember thinking at least I can laugh."

Kneeland recognizes that the key to coping is making adjustments. At first, she said, "I stayed at home and worked on my art, but I missed people, so I had to get out and keep trying jobs." One thing was holding her back: "It's very embarrassing for me to be in a wheelchair-I'm a very proud person. But then I realized I didn't want to let it keep me from being out in the world." So she asked herself, "What am I going to do to take advantage of my strengths, to help people, to have fun, and to make this an opportunity?" She realized, "This is an opportunity. What you learn from this will affect everything you do."

Now Kneeland works with a district attorney as a victim's advocate and said "now I'm helping other people in a much worse situation that I'm in. Now I'm off to the next adventure."

In fact, MS has helped Kneeland take a more adventurous approach to life. "I think: 'What the hell? What do I have to lose?' I was always afraid of flying, but last year I said to my mother: "Let's go to Ireland. If I'm nervous, I'll take a pill." And now I love flying!" She concluded, "[M.S.] does damage our bodies, but it does not damage our spirits.