2008 Woodie Awards
Thriller Cellular disappoints with unstable storyline, corny lines
Lauren Ruffing
Issue date: 9/30/04 Section: Arts & Entertainment
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Cellular, a film only the cell phone manic 21st-century could produce, has nail-biting thriller potential, but unfortunately fails to fully deliver.
First time screenwriter Chris Morgan should receive some props for his story line. Cellular, directed by David R. Ellis (Final Destination 2), follows a directionless, but attractive college beach bum, Ryan (Not Another Teen Movie's Chris Evans) who receives a desperate phone call from kidnapped Brentwood biology teacher, Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger). By furiously tapping together wires of a shattered rotary phone, Jessica, in a locked attic, has somehow managed to reach Ryan's, and only Ryan's, cell phone.
Here's where the humor begins, though. Finally believing Jessica's plea for help, Ryan, with phone in tow, visits the local police station where William H. Macy, a 27-year LAPD veteran, is serving his last day. Leaving the crime-fighting world, Macy's character yearns to open a beauty salon, or rather a day spa, as he continually corrects his peers.
Ryan is directed upstairs to Homicide, but of course it can't be that easy; the more he climbs the staircase, the more he loses service. Fearing the eternal loss of contact with Jessica, the usually irresponsible Ryan vows to save Jessica's son and husband by chasing burly, few-word bad guy Greer (The Transporter's Jason Statham) and crew through the chaotic streets of Los Angeles.
Car chases. Hold ups. Death defying leaps. Cellular has them all.
Corny lines. Over dramatic music. All too perfect cop roll dives straight from Starsky and Hutch. Cellular has those too.
Although believable as a terrified, but tough wife and mother, Basinger appears far from her Oscar winning days. Through no fault of her own, her talents fail to be utilized. She instead, physically at least, merely repeatedly changes back and forth between kneeling and standing throughout the bulk of the film. Vocally, her lines reveal needed urgency, yet, why at the optimum chance for escape does she recite biology jargon when she could and should be running?
Macy plays the good guy again, the good cop this time. Although lovable, his character is somewhat slow. In one particular scene, he states a puzzle piece fitting realization at least five seconds after the audience has already arrived there. His 80's mustache, as well as his perplexing day spa ambition, covers him in a coat of cheeziness.
The bad guys? They are as one-dimensional as they come. Some accompany names while others do not. Yet, they all speak in grunting, few-syllable sentences. Statham embodies mystery. The audience knows that more lies behind his intense eyes and unwavering smirk, but they are prohibited from ever going there.
Evans is enjoyable, and of course, worthy of teenage female adoration. (The movie begins with his shirt off for a reason.) He has all the best intentions, but lines like, "Look, did you see that kid get kidnapped?" portray the hero as a slightly dense kid in way over his head.
With kids named Ricky Martin, loaded guns lying in elementary school security cars, and a million-dollar estate in the ownership of a teacher and a realtor, Cellular seems a bit too unrealistic, a bit too unaware of an audience's intelligence.
Vying for an equal mix of thrill and comedy, Cellulartries to do too much at once. Its humor isn't laugh out loud, and its suspense just isn't suspenseful enough. The reasoning behind the kidnapping even has its holes.
If amusement, but low-level thinking are in order, the 94-minute film remains a great pick, but if you want to jump in fear while untangling complex mysteries you may want to save the $9.75. Resembling the corniness of Hollywood Homicide more than the craftiness of Phone Booth, Cellular receives a five out of 10.
Senior
English
First time screenwriter Chris Morgan should receive some props for his story line. Cellular, directed by David R. Ellis (Final Destination 2), follows a directionless, but attractive college beach bum, Ryan (Not Another Teen Movie's Chris Evans) who receives a desperate phone call from kidnapped Brentwood biology teacher, Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger). By furiously tapping together wires of a shattered rotary phone, Jessica, in a locked attic, has somehow managed to reach Ryan's, and only Ryan's, cell phone.
Here's where the humor begins, though. Finally believing Jessica's plea for help, Ryan, with phone in tow, visits the local police station where William H. Macy, a 27-year LAPD veteran, is serving his last day. Leaving the crime-fighting world, Macy's character yearns to open a beauty salon, or rather a day spa, as he continually corrects his peers.
Ryan is directed upstairs to Homicide, but of course it can't be that easy; the more he climbs the staircase, the more he loses service. Fearing the eternal loss of contact with Jessica, the usually irresponsible Ryan vows to save Jessica's son and husband by chasing burly, few-word bad guy Greer (The Transporter's Jason Statham) and crew through the chaotic streets of Los Angeles.
Car chases. Hold ups. Death defying leaps. Cellular has them all.
Corny lines. Over dramatic music. All too perfect cop roll dives straight from Starsky and Hutch. Cellular has those too.
Although believable as a terrified, but tough wife and mother, Basinger appears far from her Oscar winning days. Through no fault of her own, her talents fail to be utilized. She instead, physically at least, merely repeatedly changes back and forth between kneeling and standing throughout the bulk of the film. Vocally, her lines reveal needed urgency, yet, why at the optimum chance for escape does she recite biology jargon when she could and should be running?
Macy plays the good guy again, the good cop this time. Although lovable, his character is somewhat slow. In one particular scene, he states a puzzle piece fitting realization at least five seconds after the audience has already arrived there. His 80's mustache, as well as his perplexing day spa ambition, covers him in a coat of cheeziness.
The bad guys? They are as one-dimensional as they come. Some accompany names while others do not. Yet, they all speak in grunting, few-syllable sentences. Statham embodies mystery. The audience knows that more lies behind his intense eyes and unwavering smirk, but they are prohibited from ever going there.
Evans is enjoyable, and of course, worthy of teenage female adoration. (The movie begins with his shirt off for a reason.) He has all the best intentions, but lines like, "Look, did you see that kid get kidnapped?" portray the hero as a slightly dense kid in way over his head.
With kids named Ricky Martin, loaded guns lying in elementary school security cars, and a million-dollar estate in the ownership of a teacher and a realtor, Cellular seems a bit too unrealistic, a bit too unaware of an audience's intelligence.
Vying for an equal mix of thrill and comedy, Cellulartries to do too much at once. Its humor isn't laugh out loud, and its suspense just isn't suspenseful enough. The reasoning behind the kidnapping even has its holes.
If amusement, but low-level thinking are in order, the 94-minute film remains a great pick, but if you want to jump in fear while untangling complex mysteries you may want to save the $9.75. Resembling the corniness of Hollywood Homicide more than the craftiness of Phone Booth, Cellular receives a five out of 10.
Senior
English