2008 Woodie Awards
Nice weather we're having lately? You can thank me
Nicole Dellasanta
Issue date: 12/4/04 Section: Feature of the Week-Superpowers
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Nice weather we're having lately...
"Oh man, I have so much work to do today. I've got a huge test to take, a take-home exam to finish, and two papers due this afternoon that I haven't even started."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. My professor told us he'd extended our class time today just so he could give his lecture on the life cycle of the earthworm in full without having to extend it to next class. Plus, I have to work tonight until two in the morning."
"Man, I just wish today would be over already."
"Or even better yet, I wish everything today would just be cancelled."
"Yeah, really...but the only way that would happen would be if we had a huge blizzard."
"Which will definitely not happen because it's the middle of April."
"Yeah, but if only there were some way..."
WOOOSSSHH!!!!
"Hey...it's snowing!"
"Yeah...it's like a blizzard!"
"Hey, what's that in the sky?"
"Oh my God...it's a bird!"
"No, it's a plane!"
"No, it's...it's...WEATHER WOMAN!"
Allow myself to introduce...myself. My name is Weather Woman, and I have the ultimate power of controlling the weather. Every raindrop is at my command, every snowflake stands at attention to me, and every ray of sun is within my iron grip.
Although I work primarily out of my office-that huge, white cumulus cloud you always see driving home that never blocks the sun from your eyes-I travel all around the globe when I'm called out on business trips. I do the usual boring stuff, like make it rain in April, snow in December, and give you those sweltering beach days in July and August.
But that's just the nine-to-five stuff. The real fun comes when I get those pathetic pleas from people, like, "Please make it rain today so I don't have to wash my car," or, "Please let it be sunny today so I can wear my new flip-flops with the cute flowers on the tops." You think I listen to those?
Only the ones from college students.
"Oh man, I have so much work to do today. I've got a huge test to take, a take-home exam to finish, and two papers due this afternoon that I haven't even started."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. My professor told us he'd extended our class time today just so he could give his lecture on the life cycle of the earthworm in full without having to extend it to next class. Plus, I have to work tonight until two in the morning."
"Man, I just wish today would be over already."
"Or even better yet, I wish everything today would just be cancelled."
"Yeah, really...but the only way that would happen would be if we had a huge blizzard."
"Which will definitely not happen because it's the middle of April."
"Yeah, but if only there were some way..."
WOOOSSSHH!!!!
"Hey...it's snowing!"
"Yeah...it's like a blizzard!"
"Hey, what's that in the sky?"
"Oh my God...it's a bird!"
"No, it's a plane!"
"No, it's...it's...WEATHER WOMAN!"
Allow myself to introduce...myself. My name is Weather Woman, and I have the ultimate power of controlling the weather. Every raindrop is at my command, every snowflake stands at attention to me, and every ray of sun is within my iron grip.
Although I work primarily out of my office-that huge, white cumulus cloud you always see driving home that never blocks the sun from your eyes-I travel all around the globe when I'm called out on business trips. I do the usual boring stuff, like make it rain in April, snow in December, and give you those sweltering beach days in July and August.
But that's just the nine-to-five stuff. The real fun comes when I get those pathetic pleas from people, like, "Please make it rain today so I don't have to wash my car," or, "Please let it be sunny today so I can wear my new flip-flops with the cute flowers on the tops." You think I listen to those?
Only the ones from college students.