2008 Woodie Awards
Brains and beauty are crucial for this nouveau-celeb
Jennifer Ryan
Issue date: 3/1/05 Section: Feature
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Because part of me is still that seven year old who loves playing dress-up, I drool at any and all celebrity events. I watch gazelle-like women parade down red carpets in sequins, silk, and stilettos and think that I wouldn't mind being able to dress up like that for my future job. I could handle being a celebrity and spending my life running around in heels meeting my adoring public.
However, as a celebrity, I would need to be a nouveau celebrity. I don't want to be adored for my acting merits or model-like appearance because frankly I'm more of a chorus girl on stage, and at 5'2" I will not be making a splash in modeling ever. I want people to adore me though for my intellect, my wit, and most importantly, my ability to churn out Pulitzer-prize winning novels.
Yeah so, right now I haven't written much more than a lot of poetry and short stories, but if given the power to be famous for twenty-four hours, my novels would clearly appear on their own and I would be declared brilliant.
When talking to a friend the other night about my plans for a 24-hour brush with fame, I announced, "I will be famous for being brilliant!"
My friend raised a dubious eyebrow before saying that my plan was impossible. No one was famous, or for that matter gets famous, for being brilliant.
However, that is what makes my plan perfect. That fact shall make me into my vision of the nouveau-celebrity. Stephen Hawkins and Albert Einstein beware; I'm taking your fame and mixing it with that of Nicole Kidman and the late Grace Kelly.
My day will start with jet-setting, because all famous celebs, including nouveau-celebs, must jet off somewhere or another.
At 6:00 a.m., I will awake looking perfect because famous people have that ability. I will grab a nice cup of coffee and take a first-class flight to London to give a lecture on modern literature at the premiere of the movie adaptation of my novel.
When I step off the plan still looking perfect and gracefully signing autographs and books, I will be hailed by American, British, and world press as a symbol of the new woman.
However, as a celebrity, I would need to be a nouveau celebrity. I don't want to be adored for my acting merits or model-like appearance because frankly I'm more of a chorus girl on stage, and at 5'2" I will not be making a splash in modeling ever. I want people to adore me though for my intellect, my wit, and most importantly, my ability to churn out Pulitzer-prize winning novels.
Yeah so, right now I haven't written much more than a lot of poetry and short stories, but if given the power to be famous for twenty-four hours, my novels would clearly appear on their own and I would be declared brilliant.
When talking to a friend the other night about my plans for a 24-hour brush with fame, I announced, "I will be famous for being brilliant!"
My friend raised a dubious eyebrow before saying that my plan was impossible. No one was famous, or for that matter gets famous, for being brilliant.
However, that is what makes my plan perfect. That fact shall make me into my vision of the nouveau-celebrity. Stephen Hawkins and Albert Einstein beware; I'm taking your fame and mixing it with that of Nicole Kidman and the late Grace Kelly.
My day will start with jet-setting, because all famous celebs, including nouveau-celebs, must jet off somewhere or another.
At 6:00 a.m., I will awake looking perfect because famous people have that ability. I will grab a nice cup of coffee and take a first-class flight to London to give a lecture on modern literature at the premiere of the movie adaptation of my novel.
When I step off the plan still looking perfect and gracefully signing autographs and books, I will be hailed by American, British, and world press as a symbol of the new woman.