Center for Civic Friendship: The Courage of My Convictions

Emily Oliver

Guest Writer

As a first-year student and member of the inaugural cohort of Civic Friendship Scholars, I am learning how the bonds of friendship can strengthen my commitment to having honest conversations. Together with my fellow Civic Friendship students, we have been developing skills of respectful listening that help us learn from one another and manage disagreements productively. Living together in Worcester Hall, attending lectures that shed light on what civic friendship means, and learning from Assumption faculty have taught me that friendship is not just about agreement—it’s about mutual respect and curiosity.

Assumption faculty have contributed important perspectives on how to pursue civic friendship through a series called Civic Symposia that take place over lunch or snacks in Pierre’s. Professor Samantha Goldman led the first discussion on “Leveraging Similarities to Manage Differences,” and Professor Jeremy Geddert recently presented “Measured Speech in an Age of Exaggeration.”  The next meeting will take place on November 6 with Professor Molly McGrath discussing “How to Fight Less Badly: Lessons from Love to Politics.” These talks remind us that the practice of civic friendship begins in small, everyday interactions—listening before judging and seeking understanding before responding.

Thanks to these opportunities, I had an experience that was very meaningful to me. One Saturday this fall, I was on a training run for cross country. At a park in Worcester where I usually work out, a group of people were lining the streets with “No Kings” posters to demonstrate against Donald Trump and his policies. As a conservative, I disagreed with some of what they were saying; however, I approached several protesters to introduce myself. I saw them as fellow citizens who are entitled to their views, and I wanted to hear their perspectives to better understand why they felt the way they did. I reassured them I wasn’t there to protest or argue but that I simply enjoy learning about politics and hearing different points of view. Most of the people were respectful, and I had some great conversations about complex topics, such as abortion, voting rights, and gun laws.

Although I didn’t agree with much of what many people said, I appreciated hearing from those with whom I disagree. I am convinced that open discussion and friendly discourse are the way to keep our country united. That day, I realized that courage isn’t only about standing up for your beliefs—it’s also about being brave enough to listen. I didn’t change my mind about any of the issues that we discussed, but I saw that people who think differently aren’t inherently bad, they have reasons for seeing things differently from me. We should try to get along with our neighbors, not because we have the same opinions but because we share the same community,  and we all want our families to thrive.

This experience seems like a perfect illustration of what we are practicing in our civic friendship discussions: how to have tough conversations and to sometimes agree to disagree. Keeping an open mind is crucial because I know that I don’t have all the answers. But I won’t learn the truth about the world if I’m not willing to listen to people who think differently.

I’m also learning that civic friendship isn’t just about one conversation or one friendship—it’s about helping to build a community where people care about what’s good for everyone, not just themselves. When we listen and learn from each other, we start to see that we actually share a lot more than we think. That kind of understanding makes me hopeful about what we can build together, here at Assumption and beyond.