Understanding Love Languages

Sydney Barber

Staff Writer

One of the most common attributes of modern day dating is the expression of love languages. But what is a love language really? It is the primary way a person expresses and receives love, which influences what makes them feel most valued, appreciated, and emotionally connected to others. Many people have multiple primary love languages, not just one. It is important to note that your love language is how you feel loved, not just how you show love.

Words of Affirmation

This love feels like: being told you’re valued, and letting the people you love know that you appreciate and care about them. People with words of affirmation love language feel most loved through verbal expressions. They want to be complimented, and hear words of encouragement. An “I’m proud of you” will work its way into the heart of this person and be cherished forever. What hurts: Silence, criticism and sarcasm.

Acts of Service

This love feels like: “actions speak louder than words.” People with an act of service love language express their love through doing things that help and take weight off of the person they love. This could simply be cooking a meal, cleaning up around the house or taking something stressful off your person’s plate.

What hurts: laziness, and feeling like they’re carrying everything (both emotionally and physically).

Quality Time

This love feels like: giving the person you love your undivided attention, and getting the same attention back. People with a quality time love language values presence, whether through deep conversations, spending time together even when doing nothing, and not being distracted while doing so.

What hurts: distractions, multitasking and canceled plans.

Receiving Gifts and Gift Giving

This love feels like: “This made me think of you so I bought it.” Though this love language can often be misconstrued as materialism, it is more about symbolism and effort. A person with a gift giving or receiving love language expresses love through small surprises, well thought out gifts and often saying “I saw this and thought of you.”

What hurts: forgotten birthdays and thoughtless gifts.

Physical Touch

This love feels like: Connection through touch. This kind of love language includes non-sexual touch more than sexual touch, it is more about comfort and safety. A person with a physical touch love language appreciates holding hands, sitting close, and placing a thoughtful hand on their person’s back or thigh.

What hurts: physical distance and lack of affection.